Maher: 'Governing This Country With Republicans is Like Rooming With a Meth Addict'
Bill Maher took a shot at Republicans in his New Rules segment for showing us that they have absolutely no interest in governing and instead just trying to whip their base up into a frenzy fear mongering over the latest faux outrage of the day.
MAHER: New Rule – Fantasies are for sex, not public policy. When you go down the list of useless distractions that make up the Republican Party agenda; public unions and Sharia law, anchor babies and a mosque at ground zero, ACORN and National Public Radio, the war on Christmas, the New Black Panthers, Planned Parenthood, Michelle Obama’s war on desserts…
…you realize that one reason nothing gets done in America is that one of the political parties puts so much more into fantasy problems. Governing this country with Republicans is like rooming with a meth addict.
You want to address real life problems like when the rent is due and they’re saying “How can you even think of that stuff when there’s police scanner voices coming out of the air conditioning unit?”
A low I.Q. meth addict.
If I were a psychopath, I would join the republican party, and get in on the gravy train taking the Teabircher morons to the cleaners.
...obama and the dumbocrats. Yes, I believe dems are more interested in governing the USA than the republican'ts are. So what are they waiting for? A gilded invitation or maybe they need to win an election or two to gain power in the House, Senate and White Ho...oh wait????
Mickey: "It was an epiphany. Do you know what an epipany is?"
Keoni: "NOT NOW MICKEY!"
says "Now maybe Meth Dude has a point, we need to sit down and come to a consensus as to whether there are voices coming out of the air conditioning vents and if so, whose they are and what they are saying and maybe we can come to an agreement as to whether the rent should really be paid or whether the investigations into the voices may take precedence and..."
Ding! Ding! Ding! You win the cookie!
Election 2012: Be Educated! Be Active! Vote!
www.PhoenixJustice.com
And I thought the other roomie was just an enabler.
Now that's funny!!
The trick is, the Media is owned by the landlord, and Meth dude is his kid.
Maher tried but used the wrong analogy. They're nothing more than liars, bullies and con men. The conversation actually goes like...
Democrats: Hey, isn't it time we take care of the rent?
Republicans: I spent all the money on myself. Looks like it's up to you.
Democrats: Okay, but what about you?
Republicans: What about us?
Democrats: What are you going to sacrifice?
Republicans: Nothing. I'm in charge here.
Month after month he'd say "don't pay the phone bill, don't pay the water, don't pay the electrical, see if I care when they turn it off". Well, I paid for more than a few months, then fuck it, I let everything get turned off. It stayed that way for months - I moved for all intents and purposes to my girlfriends.
That ahole would rather do without than have to pay for it out of his own pocket. Good times.
Democrats: "Hey, let's pay the rent. Where's your half?"
Republicans: "Why should I pay the rent when you've got more than enough to pay the whole thing yourself."
Democrats: "No I don't. After paying for the heat, electricity, TV, telephone, and half the rent I'm broke."
Republicans: "Exactly, that's my point. You're irresponsible with money! And I don't intend to 'bail you out,' because it would only encourage your spend thrift ways."
Yep. Psycho-narcissistic ass clowns. Recall, recall, recall, recall.
"Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob"
-= Franklin Delano Roosevelt =-
That snark is uncomfortably close to reality. :(
Spot on!
And I'd like to jump in on the hypothetical transcripts too. :)
Democrat: It's time to pay the rent.
Republican: We can't deal with problems like that! There are voices coming out of the air conditioners! We need to take all the money we have and buy a laser gun to blow up the air conditioner to stop the voices.
Democrat: Are you kidding? Dude, we need to pay the rent.
FUX News: Thank you for tuning in, where we're always fair and balanced. Today the Democrat just went absolutely crazy in the apartment today, calling the Republican all sorts of names, and saying he must be "kidding" when trying to solve real problems in the apartment. When the republican noted that some people say that it's possible that there are voices coming out of the air conditioning, and that while paying rent is an important responsibility, the fact that there might be voices in the air conditioning means that we might have something quite nefarious to deal with. A serious threat, one that we cannot take lightly. Our analysis have told us that voices in the air conditioner, while not always able to be heard, are definitely there, and the Democrat simply does not want to put out any money whatsoever to stop them. Let's go to that analyst now.
Analyst (who looks strikingly like Republican in a wig): Yes, it's very simple, FUX, if we don't deal with the voices in the air conditioning, there won't be any apartment for which we have to pay rent. It's just that simple. And the name calling and partisanship is just appalling at this point in time.
FUX News: And these threatening voices . . . we know how to stop them?
Analyst?: Oh, it's very simple. The laser technology listed in this catalog says it's precision-designed to seek out such voices, and quiet them without any damage to the air conditioner.
FUX News: And yet, a certain member of the apartment does not want to buy the laser. Unbelievable.
Republican: Holy fucking shit! They're getting louder!!! I hear them!! Oh my god!!! Spend the rent money on the laser already!
Democrat: Okay, I never meant to imply that threats should not be dealt with. Of course they should. We do have to make sure our apartment is safe. But, we still need to pay the rent.
Republican: No! No! No! How much money do you have?
Democrat: Um, I have my half of the rent.
Republican: Give it to me! Now!
Democrat: Okay. You know, I really do want to stay roommates and reach some sort of compro---
Republican: Thank you. Now, we'll use this, one-third of my share for the rent, and take out a huge loan, and buy that laser already. The rest of my rent money, we'll keep around, just to be safe.
Democrat: Wait . . one-third of----
{{{{BOOM!}}}}}
Democrat: {Cough cough} Holy hell, dude! Now we have no air conditioner, we're getting soot in our lungs, and there's a giant hole in the wall!
Republican: {Cough cough} We had to do it. It was necessary. Those voices were real, I tell you!
FUX News: Ladies and gentlemen, thanks to bold leadership by Republican, the air conditioner has been destroyed. It was perfect mission accomplished moment with nothing gone wrong. Some people say the voices cannot be heard at all anymore. The apartment is safe once again. Unfortunately, Democrat is still criticizing the mission, using the nastiest, most partisan language imaginable.
Democrat: Well, we better at least repair the hole before the landlord gets here. You still have your two-thirds of the rent money left over to repair the wall and pay back the loan?
Republican: No. I spent it.
Democrat: On what?
Republican: Hookers. I did that last week when you were on vacation. That's why we needed the loan for the laser.
Democrat: Well, what the hell are we gonna do now?
Republican: Say, haven't you been saving 20% of your salary in your bank account?
Democrat: Yeah.
Republican: Give it to me.
Democrat: What?! Why?!
Republican: Dude, we're in debt. And we need to pay the rent.
FUX News: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Well, it looks like one member of the apartment doesn't understand that rent needs to be paid on time. The household is broke, so it's time for tough sacrifices, but Democrat won't give up the money he has saved in order to pay the rent.
Everyone is equally entitled to the pursuit of happiness. Wasn't that once self evident?
You are Awesome
NOBODY 2012
If jobs are job #1 have the House Republicans proposed one bill yet that will create a single job? Only stupid people vote for them. And only lazy and stupid Democrats don't voted. The first thing I do after I brush my teeth and put on my clothes on Election Day is vote.
They're worse than voting Republicans.
Maybe DLC republican-lites like Obama should ask themselves why people who are inclined to vote democratic hate their corporate sellout guts.
Don't blame the voters when the choices are a s**t sandwich or a t**d dog on a stick.
If I were a psychopath, I would join the republican party, and get in on the gravy train taking the Teabircher morons to the cleaners.
Your blameing democrats because the republicans suck. Democrats need to give you a reason to vote.
voted in the general but how many voted in the primaries to try to get the blue dogs out before the general.
I've voted in every primary as that determines what my ulitmate choice will be. Usually the person I vote for doesn't win. This past primary I voted or Kucinich.
I wasn't aware that you lived in Ohio. I'm talking about midterms if you didn't quite get it.
as your comment follows mine - but realized the error after I posted.
Then left it up anyway.
an election since 1984.
THANK YOU!
NOBODY 2012
Most of what they have proposed is stuff that will kill jobs -- some on a small scale, but still ... They certainly haven't introduced anything that will create any jobs; they haven't even bothered to introduce any of the stupid policies they erroneously believe will create jobs. I guess jobs aren't exactly Job One with the GOP in Congress, more like Job 250 or something.
Solve anything this morning?
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
In California, where Democrats decided to turn out and vote, it went pretty good. Poor Meg Whitman lost in a landslide, and wasted millions of her own money. Gosh, just showing up at the voting booth....
right up until I was told that SCOTUS had permission to nullify my vote. Then the Diebold fun and games came to light. Everything's been downhill since. No, you shouldn't berate me for not voting Democrat anymore, just like there's no need to thank me for never voting republican.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
So how's that not voting thing working out for you?
it is pretty clear who really runs the country...the corporatists
we are doomed to a never ending cycle of the same old, same old...until the country totally implodes and the scenes we now watch from libya....start happening right on our city streets
people their support?
How are the recalls going? I guess if you are not from Wisconsin there's no way to sign the Wisconsin recall-petition is there..? It was only half way to the required number of signatures last time i looked.
Come on Wisconsin - save Wisconsin - sign the petition !!
"Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob"
-= Franklin Delano Roosevelt =-
Signatures are at 50%. The Daily Kos has some great coverage of the recall effort both as an overview and from individuals involved.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/03/16/9568...
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/03/15/9563...
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/03/19/9581...
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/03/19/9582...
Hope this helps. Joe
Stop Explaining The Jokes!!!
NOBODY 2012
shoveling tax dollars to private business, that is the puke policy toward government, using uncle sam as the muscle to take money out of workers pockets, worldwide.
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