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The Daily Show's Jon Stewart ripped former Reagan speech writer and fan girl Peggy Noonan for her selective memory on Meet the Press this past Sunday where she seemed to forget all about her former boss St. Ronnie and his problem called Iran-Contra.

STEWART: Now, think hard Peggy Noonan. Never in your lifetime have you seen a scandal this bad? What if the president secretely sold weapons to Iran in return for American hostages and then used the proceeds to illegally fund a bunch of coked up right-wing jungle rapists in Nicaragua? Ring a bell? Here's a hint. You worked in his White House as a high profile speech writer.

Stewart followed up by playing some old footage of her from back in 2001, where she was making excuses for The Gipper and claiming that he "wanted to help the hostages" "but it spun out of control and Reagan by the end was surprised at some of the things that had happened." And of course it was also just "bad luck."

STEWART: Bad luck! Reagan was just on the wrong place at the wrong time. Specifically the White House during his own administration. This Iran-Contra wasn't a ahhmmm... it wasn't a scandal.

NOONAN from 2002: It was a mistake. It wasn't a disaster, but it was a mistake.

STEWART: Mistake! It's like writing the wrong date on a check... or writing the wrong address on a box marked weapons. Oops...

So how about Obama? Is he off the hook then for his mistakes?

Of course it goes without saying that those two aren't held the same standard in Noonan-world. After reading some of her book about her imaginary boyfriend, Stewart wrapped things up by noting:

STEWART: But here's the deal. You can't really get so upset about Obama if you've written the book, Fifty Shades of Greygan.

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Conservative radio host Glenn Beck on Wednesday compared the U.S. government to "rapists" over recent so-called scandals, from the Internal Revenue Service's practice of scrutinizing conservative groups to last year's terrorist attacks in Benghazi.

In a bizarre rant on his radio show, Beck said that he didn't know why Congress was bothering with an investigation into the scandals because the federal government had been building a massive spying database in Utah.

"What is being built in Utah is the largest storage facility ever known to mankind," he explained. "They are storing all of the information. They have already admitted during the Boston bombings that they collect all emails and file it. Why are you asking the White House for the emails? Who is this security system for? Is it to protect the American people?"

"What the hell are we doing? What's wrong with us, America?" he continued. "You paid for it. You own it. You're the boss or are they? Why ask for it? Just go into the system that we paid for and you built for for our -- quote -- protection. You want to find it? Why are you waiting? The more you wait, the more time they have to delete. Go in and get it. You have it."

"Or is that security system you built for our protection not really for our protection?"

Beck added: "The American people have just been raped. Why are you asking rapists to hurry up with the swab test?"

(h/t: Right Wing Watch)

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Senator Ted Cruz continues to endear himself to his fellow Republicans, saying he doesn't trust either party on the budget. His remarks were particulary pointed towards John McCain as well.

Text via Raw Story:

“Madame President,” Cruz said to Sen. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), who was presiding over the Senate session, “the senior senator from Arizona urged this body to trust the Republicans. Let me be clear, I don’t trust the Republicans.”

“And I don’t trust the Democrats,” he continued after a beat. “And I think a whole lot of Americans likewise don’t trust the Republicans and the Democrats because it is leadership in both parties that has gotten us into this mess.”

Considering that Cruz is expected to run in 2016 for his party's nomination one wonders how he'll get any support, beyond the right wing fringe. He certainly won't win any popularity contests among his peers, but that's not really the point with someone like Cruz.

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The Republican nominee for lieutenant governor in Virginia says that he is a Christian and has no reason to apologize for his history against of hate speech against LGBT people, liberals and abortion providers.

It was only after African-American minister E.W. Jackson won the nomination at the Virginia Republican Party Convention last week that many became aware of his history of saying gay people were "perverted" and "sick people psychologically."

"Homosexuality is a horrible sin, it poisons culture, it destroys families, it destroys societies; it brings the judgment of God unlike very few things that we can think of," he said last year.

He has also called Democrats "slave masters" and compared Planned Parenthood to the Ku Klux Klan."

"Liberalism and their ideas have done more to kill black folks whom they claim so much to love than the Ku Klux Klan, lynching and slavery and Jim Crow ever did, now that’s a fact," Jackson said in a 2012 interview.

On Tuesday, Jackson told reporters that he had no intention of apologizing.

"I say the things that I say because I’m a Christian, not because I hate anybody, but because I have religious values that matter to me," Jackson told reporters during a campaign event in Fredericksburg, according to The Washington Post. "Attacking me because I hold to those principles is attacking every church-going person, every family that’s living a traditional family life, everybody who believes that we all deserve the right to live."

"So I don’t have anything to rephrase or apologize for. I would just say people should not paint me as one-dimensional."

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ABC's Jonathan Karl and his part in helping to feed the scandal-mongering over Benghazi wasn't the only recent Republican drummed up outrage Stephen Colbert decided to take on during this Monday's show. After his "Mazda-Scandal Booth" on Benghazi, Colbert took his next turn in the booth on the IRS, grasping "wildly at any accusation that floats past."

And as Arturo Garcia from Raw Story reported, here's what he found: Colbert concludes tea partiers are ‘a bunch of pussies’ after consulting his lawyer:

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By now you may have heard about Toronto's crazy, allegedly crack-smoking mayor Rob Ford. The man's many pratfalls were the stuff of legend and local embarrassment, but are now finding international ridicule. And while Stewart highlights a few awkward moments, there are really so many cringe-inducing moments in Ford's less than stellar career it's actually hard to pick only a couple and leave out so many more. Slate has some here.

This is a few minutes of an eight minute segment. Later in the bit, Canadians Jason Jones and Samantha Bee educated Jon Stewart on Canada's true national pastime: smoking crack.

And lest you think Jon Stewart is the only comedian taken with Ford's brand of (unintended) physical comedy, last month Ford was also featured on the Jimmy Kimmel Show.

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Things didn't go quite according to plan when CNN's intrepid reporter Wolf Blitzer asked one of those cliché questions reporters always seem to ask survivors of natural disasters.

WOLF BLITZER: “You’re blessed. Brian, your husband is blessed. Anders is blessed… I guess you got to thank the Lord, right?”

REBECCA: *Shrug*

WOLF BLITZER: (Insisting) “Do you thank the Lord for that split-second decision?”

REBECCA: “I–I’m actually an atheist,” (Awkward laughs) “We are here and you know, I don’t blame anybody for thanking the Lord.”

WOLF BLITZER: "Of course not."

Perfect.

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Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) on Tuesday lashed out at fellow members of Congress for looking into how technology giant Apple is able to avoid paying billions of dollars in taxes.

The Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations released a report on Monday detailing how Apple had used a network of offshore shell companies in recent year to avoid paying taxes.

At a committee hearing on Tuesday, Paul was livid that Apple CEO Tim Cook was asked to testify.

"I'm offended by a $4 trillion government bullying, berating and badgering one America's greatest success stories," the Kentucky Republican told the committee. "Tell me what Apple has done that is illegal?"

Paul added that he was also "offended" that that the IRS would "bully" tea party groups.

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The worst Senator in a body replete with really bad and odious senators tells us why Tornado relief is different than Hurricane relief.

Via WaPo

In the wake of the devastating tornado in an Oklahoma City suburb, Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.) rejected comparisons between federal aid for this disaster and the Hurricane Sandy relief package he voted against.

That was a “totally different” situation, Inhofe told MSNBC, arguing that the Sandy aid was filled with pork. There were “things in the Virgin Islands. They were fixing roads there and putting roofs on houses in Washington, D.C.”

“Everyone was getting in and exploiting the tragedy that took place,” he said. “That won’t happen in Oklahoma.”

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Unlike his cohort Jon Stewart, who hasn't bothered to mention Jonathan Karl's Benghazi email scandal all week, Stephen Colbert had no problem taking the ABC reporter to the woodshed and giving him the treatment he deserved after his non-apology over the weekend.

Bruinkid over at KOS actually took the time to transcribe the whole show which I'll share part of here: Stephen Colbert lays waste to ABC's Jonathan Karl for his Benghazi lies:

And tonight's scandal is... Benghazi!!

Yes, Benghazi. Following the tragic attacks of eight months ago, Benghazi, and the rumored cover-up, has become problem #1 for the Obama administration. [...]

Yes, Benghazi is the biggest scandal since sliced bread was caught funneling money to Nicaraguan death squads. And folks, if Republicans are angry now, imagine how they'll feel when they learn where Benghazi is. [...]

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