Bill Maher: Face Ripper Monkey 2012!
As Bill Maher explained in his New Rules segment, the Republicans are having a little trouble with their field of primary candidates so far this year.
MAHER: And finally new rule, someone has to come to the aid of the Republican Party. I have seen a more appealing lineup on an episode of Law and Order Special Victims Unit. Now the reason it's so hard for Republicans to run these days is the same reason the ratings for Donald Trump's show are up this year; the crazier the contestants, the more the voters like it.
They keep flirting with flavors of the month where each mortifying, rabid, has-been shines for a minute, and then flames out in a toxic cloud like an eco-friendly light bulb. All in a vain attempt to somehow find a candidate meaner than Trump and dumber than Palin. A candidate that will meet these criteria:
a) Never compromise on anything or ever work with the Democrats.
b) Always treat Obama like he's some mysterious black guy who turned up uninvited at your country club; President Bagger Vance.
c) Never admit government is useful for anything. The government is always like Snooki's vagina. It's too big. It services too many people and nothing good will ever come out of it.
After listing off the group of people Maher thinks will fit that criteria like Charlie Sheen, Ted Nugent, Andrew Dice Clay, Thor, and Arnold Schwarzenegger's penis, Maher finally settles on his personal favorite, face ripper monkey. Maher explained why he thought face ripper monkey would appeal to the "tea party" (or a.k.a. the extreme right wing of the Republican base).
MAHER: His very existence disproves evolution. And he's not a "Washington insider." In fact, he's not an insider at all. Face ripper monkey doesn't wait around for government to solve his problems. He acts. He doesn't do nuance. He goes with his gut... and for your face.
Face ripper monkey is aggressive, independent and he's... he's not afraid to prove his toughness with direct, common sense solutions, like ripping off people's faces.
And the best thing about face ripper monkey, he will accept not being at the top of the ticket.
Maher couldn't get that out without breaking up in laughter himself.
And word of warning, this segment is definitely nsfw.
I might have gone with a dung beetle myself, 'cause they're always trying to dig up some with shit on Obama and the Democrats.
because after they dig it up, they have to push it all over the place--get the ball rolling, so to speak.
me-oww!
.
"That's fu*#ing retarded."
Big City Mayor
that this beetle is the intermediate form of the Breibart? The larval stage (the O'keefe) has even more disgusting habits.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
God damn that was so fucking funny!
And sadly, pretty fucking spot on.
was actually pretty damn funny.
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
Face-Ripper Monkey ... the new face of the Republican Party, 2012.
I hope Bill Maher keeps bringing Face-Ripper back on. He captures the essence of the Republican soul.
I fail to find anything funny about it. It's pretty tasteless, even for Bill Maher.
"Trust no one, Mr. Mulder." - Well-Manicured Man
Agreed.
"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
at that bit, and there was not much to laugh about. Seen funnier episodes of Hee Haw. That Junior Samples still cracks me up. And don't even mention Minnie Pearl.
"That's fu*#ing retarded."
Big City Mayor
My mom has 10 sisters and 5 brothers (well, 4 now, the oldest died in 1970). My Uncle Kevin, child #13, has Down Syndrome, but for someone with that condition, he was a pretty bright guy. I write was because he was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimers about 10 years ago.
Anyway, he was a really funny guy. One of the things you could count on from him was that at the family reunion he would always perform this. This is why Hee Haw will always hold a special place in my heart.
Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust.
It's 6:14 and we're still alive. The rapture never came. I've got a problem, I racked up thousands on my credit cards bought a BMW for $49,000 thinking I'd be gone and not have to pay it back. Can anyone lend a few bucks?
is intended to be a factual statement
Skip Texas. Takes to long to get across.
Didn't anyone tell you to buy the damn car in California?
"That's fu*#ing retarded."
Big City Mayor
I got a guy by the name of Joey Bag '"a" Donuts looking for me. I'm thinking about relocating to Kansas, who the hell would go to Kansas? Seems like a safe bet.
is intended to be a factual statement
debark the misogyny train. I've never watched Jerseywhatever, couldn't care less about anyone on there but know that Snooki is part of the cast because that fact is all over the Interwebs. But that part was crass and unnecessary.
maggiedancer
would not be out of place on an episode of said show.
call the whaambulance
Do some people have to be offended by everything?
It's also clear you don't understand the meaning of the word misogyny. It's not a blanket word you can apply to something just because the joke is directed at a woman.
Try the dictionary.
The face-ripper monkey seems to fit right into the current right-wing rhetoric, namely, as Bill Maher himself would put it, "Wouldn't it be fun to kill the people we disagree with?"
After a while, though, the monkey would have to die off, along with the current crew of right wing personalities, thus making way for either something scarier, or some thing more peaceful.
I lost it during Face Ripper Monkey :-D
NOBODY 2012
That was the best New Rules I think I've ever heard...
Yep, Face Ripper Monkey for GOP 2012. It works!
I was laughing so hard at the end I could hardly breathe! The way he described why the Faceripper Monkey is the perfect GOP candidate (independent, is a Washington outsider, not afraid to get things done, etc.) had me HOWLING! LOL!!!
I thought Maher was not up to snuff this week, thrown off his game for some reason. Started with the opening interview, where he got into some awkward statements about minorities. And then the way he lost it during the face ripper monkey joke (which wasn't all that funny to me, at least not enough to be extended that long).
The whole show seemed a bit odd, with Dylan Ratigan looking strangely out of place and saying some odd things in an odd way. The other male guest also seemed out of sync, uncomfortable. Maher didn't set the pace, control the flow as expertly as he usually does.
Maybe ol' Bill came on stage a little too, shall we say, prepared for the Rapture.
But as I say, it seems to be just me, as most comments, both here and on other boards where I've looked to see if anybody had observations similar to my own, are quite laudatory of the show.
"You know what? That makes me mad." - Droopy
Rethug monkey, just stating the obvious. Evolution stopped with their side. Good clip.
Is it the 21st century yet?
I wholeheartedly agree with your statement. Over the years (I am 27) I have found Maher becomming more and more arrogant. For one, I think his writers are your typical make a liberal laugh because it's easier to make fun of the "other side" than it is to explain why their policies/outlook on the future is well.....crazy. Again this is comedy, I get it, producing giggles is the ultimate goal. On certain occasions and during certain election cycles Bill has criticized democrats just as much as republicans......of course it's plainly obvious......that the tea-party is easy to make fun of. However, Bill's agenda tends to fit the status quo, he like other pundits/commenters comes off as a know-it-all. Remember his screeds on GMO foods? Whatever happened with that Bill? Just as important now as it was then. How about having a politican on such as bernie, ron paul, kucinich, gravel, etc. to inject some truth to the pundits and paid media consultants he constantly has on? Bill does his left/right paradigm schtick only to marginalize candidates that ACTUALLY represent the PEOPLE's INTERESTS. No Mention of Ron Paul running as a candidate because "he won't get elected" that's right a republican who is more of a radical liberal than he is a conservative, who would and could do much more for the average working family in this country. Of course the nay sayers will cry "BOOO HISS!" well i say boo-hiss to the last 10 administrations.....more of the same? "yes please" cry out the democrats. I'm a scatter brain, hey where's nicole to say her rhetorical "show me a way to change the system?".
My God, what an incredible bore you are, Hermann. It's a comedy show (and a damn good one at that), not Consumer Reports.
Relax.
So funny I posted it on my FB wall....BUT...Bill should have given credit where credit was due...the description of FRM borrowed HEAVILY from this internet gem: The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger.
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