February 23, 2012 10:50 PM
Stephen Colbert Converts All Dead Mormons to Judaism
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After the recent apology by the Mormon Church for performing the "baptism for the dead" ritual on dead Jews where they promised to stop the practice, followed by the news that a Mormon temple in the Dominican Republic baptized Holocaust victim Anne Frank -- again -- Stephen Colbert had the obvious solution to resolve the problem -- converting all dead Mormons to Judaism.
Can't wait for the Morons to start whining.
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
Keep 'em coming! You heard about the turn 'em gay site.
Why not marry them to the gay posthumously? They will appreciate the amenity.
Love the fact Colbert showed their Free Mason inspired tub.
I wonder what circle in hell Dante would have committed them to?
And had them blessed by Leprechauns riding unicorns.
Should have made them lepers.
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
And Mormonism is NOT a cult. *oh snap, snarkle & pop*
Can we then convert them to Southern Baptists from Judaism? Maybe we could just pass them around amongst a dozen or so faiths.
Scientology ?
They would be right at home with the profit motive of the church.
trade Kolob for the "Galactic Confederacy", then just move the unseen center of power in the universe to some other unknowable point - there is really no leap of faith involved. Both 'faiths' are already bat-shit-crazy, so the followers of each know the drill. Piece of cake.
"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion." - L. Ron Hubbard
Joseph Smith may have been the first American science fiction writer.
Wall Street is just a parasite on the actual labor and investments of average Americans.
Banks play with futures, debt paper, complex financial instruments, and other peoples incomes.
Sell 'em short & help 'em crash - Tear 'em apart & sell the pieces
" Data (1) (1)
The head of the Galactic
Confederation (76 planets around
larger stars visible from here)
(founded 95,000,000 yrs ago, very space opera)
solved overpopulation (250 billion
or so per planet) -- 178 billion
average) by mass implanting.
He caused people to be brought to
Teegeeack (Earth) and put an H Bomb
on the principal volcanoes (Incident 2)
and then the Pacific area ones
were taken in boxes to Hawaii
and the Atlantic Area ones to
Las Palmas and there "packaged."
His name was Xenu. He used
renegades. Various misleading
data by means of circuits etc.
were placed in the implants.
When through with his crime Loyal Officers
(to the people) captured him
after 6 years of battle
and put him in an electronic
mountain trap where he still
is. "They" are gone. The place (Confed.)
has since been a desert."
http://www.xenu.net/archive/OTIII-scholar/
Sounds about right. :s
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
Seuss
More like anti medical drugs. Feckers like that are a threat against healthcare.
http://theunfunnytruth.ytmnd.com/
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
I don't consider Scientology a comparable cult, it is a financial pyramid scheme meant to enslave people. It's is brutal and relentless, but Mormons are just a big a problem (prop 8, annoying Utah liquor laws, Osmonds) because of numbers and money - although they are no longer the fastest growing religion due to the internet preventing them from
lyingobfuscating the truth.Well. Cult, sect or religion. I'm not a big fan TBH. I get the point as mormonism has something to say in politics. Sadly.
One day we'll be happy. :p
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
They tell their little girls that before they were born they have already promised God to have babies -- in order to be allowed to come to Earth and have a chance at their own planet.
any of the 'conversion' - 'missionary' religions. mine usually don't last long.
Ask them if the realize they are in a cult, and that some cults are just more successful than others. When you give them the definitions of a cult they usually don't take it well.
I don't jump right in with that, but it frequently comes to that point. Then start a deprogramming discussion - "You can get help from professionals and get yourself out; it was professionals that lured you in."
they almost never bring it up again.
The deprogramming discussion really puts up a wall they don't want to look at. they have too much invested.
"Deprogramming - that is providing members with information about the cult and showing them how their own decision-making power had been taken away from them."
--Margaret Singer, Ph.D. psychologist author of "Cults in Our Midst"
http://www.rickross.com/deprogramming.html
mmmm.... "decision-making power"... sounds like a bunch of old men in robes - telling women what they can and can't do about birth control and.. well, pretty much anything else that they want control of.
Wall Street is just a parasite on the actual labor and investments of average Americans.
Banks play with futures, debt paper, complex financial instruments, and other peoples incomes.
Sell 'em short & help 'em crash - Tear 'em apart & sell the pieces
but you can turn dead mormons gay with a single click:
http://alldeadmormonsarenowgay.com/
CTHULHU 2012 "Why vote for a lesser evil?"
I kept clicking the 'find' button until I found a couple of 'old school' names.
I even helped a 'Willard' find eternal happiness.
Wall Street is just a parasite on the actual labor and investments of average Americans.
Banks play with futures, debt paper, complex financial instruments, and other peoples incomes.
Sell 'em short & help 'em crash - Tear 'em apart & sell the pieces
than usual today.
CTHULHU 2012 "Why vote for a lesser evil?"
The Pratt's are the St. Paul's of LDS - i.e. after the Mormon
conmanmessiah dies they are the ones that really get it going (and guess what? Romney is a Pratt!). Not comparing Joe with Jesus - Joe was a conman - Jesus was espousing Essene philosophy which was several generations old at least..."Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Why do the Jewish people get an apology and no one else - I guess atheists and pagans are sub-human....
I guess I haven't been paying enough attention to the 'Raiders of the Lost Soul'.
Wall Street is just a parasite on the actual labor and investments of average Americans.
Banks play with futures, debt paper, complex financial instruments, and other peoples incomes.
Sell 'em short & help 'em crash - Tear 'em apart & sell the pieces
a million children but I could be wrong. Colbert isn't interesting or funny, not sure why he has a show. In fact, he's downright boring.
Obviously Stewart is paid to be interested in him.
Okayyyy. Now I know what YOUR opinion is worth.
There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby. - Tom Waits
Colbert appreciation could be a screening question.
"I've never pictured Hell as a place of fire, sulfur and demons with pitchforks, I've always imagined it as a place of excess and broken dreams and hopes."
this nonsense so they complain about it, loudly.
The Mormons can climb into their hot tub time machine every day of the week and twice on Sunday to do a proxy conversion on me but I still will not be in a celestial heaven, terrestrial heaven or whoremonger/liar heaven because no such places exist.
Right on!
I give it a 9.
Or a 87.
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
Into his mouth! God I love Colbert.
"I've never pictured Hell as a place of fire, sulfur and demons with pitchforks, I've always imagined it as a place of excess and broken dreams and hopes."
I was reading the comments on the site that was like bithing about that circumcision doesn't work that way. Well, duh. Idiot. We all know that, fool.
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
;)
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
Isn't 17 cm about average? I say that because that's my size. :p
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
;)
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
Saturday Night Live _ Royal Deluxe II
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7ms5l_satur...
I laughed so hard when this ran,
Wall Street is just a parasite on the actual labor and investments of average Americans.
Banks play with futures, debt paper, complex financial instruments, and other peoples incomes.
Sell 'em short & help 'em crash - Tear 'em apart & sell the pieces
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
So saying hulu sucks is against the rules now?
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
Wall Street is just a parasite on the actual labor and investments of average Americans.
Banks play with futures, debt paper, complex financial instruments, and other peoples incomes.
Sell 'em short & help 'em crash - Tear 'em apart & sell the pieces
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
It was me.
I don't want to have to violate anymore comments. Would you both please get back on topic. Thank You.
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
Bite my shiny metal ass.
http://www.startalkradio.net/
?
:)
You infidel. LDS members ARE Jews. In fact, Mormons are the TRUE Jews.
Go immediately to an LDS stakeholder, kiss his feet and, then, MAYBE, he'll crucify you, then baptize you into Moron, er, uh, Mormon, Mormon, Mormon ... paradise.
Blasphemer. For confirmation, go read Revelation 2:9, you sacrilegious sack of shit.
We have met the enemy and they are ... wait, uh, can't be me.
and a thank you note might be appropriate - hint hint
It is amazing how he and the writers have been able to keep that character fresh and insightful.
I would like to see some Mormon elder baptise the prophet Mohammed that would be exciting.
are geniouses. They are educating Americans using a format they can digest.
I completely agree with your comment. Even for subjects already approached by several other entities, Colbert's team always surprises me with their own take on it.
"When you're president -- as opposed the head of a private equity firm -- your job is not simply to maximize profits. Your job is to figure out how everybody in the country has a fair shot." - President Barack Obama
I just converted them all to dead Satanists. Their souls belong to the Devil now, and he won't let them go for anything. All of them go to hell now, where post-mortum Mormon baptisms are null and void.
must have changed his mind. When I tried this a while back, he said he wanted nothing to do with them.
"When you're president -- as opposed the head of a private equity firm -- your job is not simply to maximize profits. Your job is to figure out how everybody in the country has a fair shot." - President Barack Obama
There's new levels of Hell that have been added (I believe the Onion once reported on it). These guys all go to the new Clown Act Level, Lower Tier. It one of the lowest levels. They provide comic relief for all the other denziens with their endless antics.
I just got back from converting all the dead Nazis to Mormonism.
And now im really starting to wonder....why did so many Mormons engage in genocide???
I think Mitt Romney and the rest of the Mormon leaders should make a sizable donation to some Jewish charities to atone for their leading role in the Holocaust.
I just showed this to about 10 coworkers and we laughed hysterically. Yes, we are all active Mormons.
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