Stephen Colbert had a bit of fun during his "Thought for Food" segment this Tuesday evening with Fox's Tucker Carlson, after he and his fellow wingnut, Rand Paul both took up for the restaurant industry after the FDA announced plans to phase out the use of trans fats.
The Colbert Report
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- 60 Minutes
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- Republican Party
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- Stephen Colbert
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- Supreme Court
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- Tucker Carlson
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- health care law
- health insurance
- living wage
- rand paul
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Stephen Colbert's new DVD, which he recorded during his final episode before taking a break for the holiday, "allows every family to experience the joy of having him as a guest of honor at Thanksgiving."
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
From this Monday's The Colbert Report, after first doing some gloating about the botched rollout of the Affordable Care Act, and mocking CNN's Don Lemon for comparing President Obama and the problems with the new law to the crack-smoking idiot mayor of Toronto, host Stephen Colbert turned to wingnut Rep. Michele Bachmann.
Bachmann actually had the nerve to call herself a "genius" for supposedly predicting the problems with the health care law, and Colbert decided to play a montage of her "greatest hits" to... ahem... "prove" her point.
Stephen Colbert let The Washington Post's Richard Cohen have it after the columnist wrote yet another racist op-ed on how people with "conventional views must repress a gag reflex" when considering New York mayor-elect Bill de Blasio's interracial marriage and biracial children.
If you haven't been keeping up with the latest dust up, you can read more about it here:
While some in our corporate media have decided to circle the wagons around CBS and 60 Minutes for airing their bogus Benghazi story, the same can not be said for Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert, who gave them the skewering they deserve following their bogus apology this weekend.
I especially enjoyed the shot he took at Steve Doocy over at Faux "news" for his remarks to Sen. Lindsey Graham that "60 Minutes just doesn't cover phony scandals."
COLBERT: Yes, another network covered it. That's how you know Fox News' reporting is accurate. It's just like their motto: "We Report, But You Should Really Check With Someone Else."
Colbert wrapped things up with a conspiracy theory of his own to explain how CBS got the story so very wrong, complete with a guest appearance by The Newsroom's Sam Waterston.
Businesses such as Hobby Lobby and their ilk who are doing their best to try to fight their way to the Supreme Court for the right to deny their female employees birth control coverage were the subject of Stephen Colbert's Word segment this Monday night and as Colbert explained, this is what we may get to look forward to if the courts rule in their favor:
COLBERT: I believe it is time to acknowledge the deep faith that is held by all of our corporate citizens, no matter what faith they are. Hindus believe in reincarnation, so why should a Hindu corporation be forced to follow workplace safety laws? If there's an accident, the worker will just come back as an ant.
And remember, Buddhists reject the material world. Why should a Buddhist corporation be forced to pay anyone money? And out of respect for their deeply held beliefs, we allow native Americans to legally drop peyote, therefore, we should allow Koch Industries to legally drop acid in our rivers.
Now remember folks, the purpose of religion is to answer the ultimate question, "Are we in control, or is there some greater force pulling the strings?" And if the courts rule that corporations have the same religious rights that we humans do, I think we'll have or answer. And that's The Word.
Stephen Colbert opened up his show this Monday evening by reminding his viewers just who the real victims of this "slow motion train wreck that is the rollout" of the Affordable Care Act are -- America's "most vulnerable" -- the men.
COLBERT: Under Obamacare, men will pay the same amount as women and yet we still don't get to pass a cantaloupe with toenails through our genitals.
As we already discussed here, with fast food workers across the country organizing strikes to demand a living wage, fighting against the likes of the Koch brothers and their ilk, who don't think we need any minimum wage at all, Stephen Colbert took McDonald's to task for their financial advice website for employees.
Colbert took his audience through some of the bad math in their sample budget along with the fact that it assumes their employees are also going to be working a second job.
COLBERT: So,if you work two jobs at 75 hours a week and follow this budget to the letter, McDonald's nonbindingly promises you'll have $100 for savings a month, because as McDonald's says "You can have almost anything you want as long as you plan ahead and save for it."
Unless the thing you want is money.
So, stop complaining, 4 million fast food workers. McDonald's may have net a profit last quarter of $1.39 billion, but you get a fair wage, plus all the grease you can breathe.
For Pete's sake, an employee at a Chicago McDonald's makes $8.25 an hour, but the CEO of McDonald's only makes $8.75... million dollars a year. I mean, $8.25, $8.75, they're practically the same if you don't care about math, and McDonald's budget proves they don't.
Stephen Colbert has a solution to help all of his black viewers to change how scared white people like himself feel about them -- become Senators.
COLBERT: Nation, it's time we Caucasian Americans accept that when it comes to furthering the racial dialog, the ball is in our court, even though having the ball on a court has never been our strong suit. President Obama had taken the first step by frankly discussing, as a black man, how it feels to be in a room full of white people who are scared of him.
Now I believe it's my turn to be honest about the white experience... black people are scary. And, folks, that's not just me saying that. I mean, just ask the TV. […]
That's not prejudice. That's just math. Okay? So, if in 2011, out of 42 million African Americans, 4149 were arrested for murder, which means we can reasonably be scared of .009% of African Americans. Now, it doesn't sound like a lot, until... until you consider... until you consider that we don't know which nine one thousandth of one percent. So, to be safe, we have to be scared of all of them.
This is the same reason I assume all Arabs are terrorists and all Irishmen are leprechauns. […]
Now that I've done this, in the dialog of racial understanding, white people have done our part. Okay? We have shown the courage to admit we're terrified, but it's a two way street black people.
Which is why, right now, I would like to address all of my African American viewers. Folks, it is your responsibility to change how white people feel about you and according to President Obama, there's a simple way you can do it. […]
So the answer's obvious. Black people need to become Senators.
Stephen Colbert skewered Iowa Congressman and "mortuary training doll" Steve King as he only can, following King's remarks where he compared immigrants to dogs and then pretended it was a compliment and for his claim that most DREAMers have "calves the size of cantaloupes" from hauling marijuana across the desert.
King's remarks are causing them enough headaches that even Speaker John Boehner is trying to distance the House Republicans from King, but as Jed over at KOS noted, with them "voting in lockstep with King on immigration policy" "it's hard to see how Boehner can claim with a straight face that his party doesn't share King's values."