The Colbert Report: Let's Get Ready to Humble!!!
By Heather Saturday May 09, 2009 4:30amYou can view this video right here by getting the latest version of Flash Player!
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From The Colbert Report:
To compensate for President Obama's bad attitude, Stephen has to amp up his own National Day of Prayer prayer.
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the cheerleader on the right, NOT wearing panties, performing a hi-kick. Puts sharon stone to shame.
love it.
Its only TV, but this is change that is worth watching :)
Notice C&L loaded the low definition.
Off to the site to see the details.
I would have disagreed when I watched the video here, but I rewatched it over at thecolbertreport.com and I definitely agree.
The devil's helpers on Faux needed to see those cheerleaders incite a little "prayer". They thank you from the bottom of their little tiny hearts.
Somebody told me yesterday was Outdoor Intercourse Day. Is it the same days as the day of Prayer?
In the quaint farming and university village in SE Washington State where I grew up, we always celebrated the 8th of May as National Outdoor Intercourse Day. It was always good for skipping school and finding a few good keggers going on!!
Boy, the economy is so bad the cheerleaders can't afford panties! I had to watch that in full resolution several times just to really feel their pain!
Brilliant piece!!
colbert if the 'conservative' comedy king.
follow the directions of Jesus.
...Matthew 6:6 But whenever you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray.
Love when he proves em wrong with scripture.
I encourage everyone to pray often. Unlike Santa, who only comes around once a year, God guy will accept wishes all year long. Make sure to use a bunch of Thee(s) Thou(s) and Thy(s), because as everyone knows, English is God’s second language (the more it sounds like Latin to you, the more it will to Him).
Be sure to say Thank-you (or Thank-Thee) at the beginning of your gimme speech. That way you will be more likely to get what you’re praying for.
God loves you, but he loves an audience too. The more people you get to say AMEN at the end of your gimme speech, the more likely you will be granted your gimme list.
Keep the list short; you don’t want to sound greedy. (If you must include many gimmies, spread them out throughout the day.)
Keep it in the family by mentioning Jesus to God often – just in case He forgets about Him while you’re wishin…errr…praying.
Don’t wish for intervention on sporting events, that’s bad form. Even God can’t make both sides win.
And always remember – no peeking!
I peeked. Am I going t....
Naw - you'll be fine. Just do it over without peeking. God's short-term memory hasn't been the same since that whole cross thing.
Oh, and God likes to barter too. Yea verily, just like unto the Flea Market haggling. For instance: God – IF you let me win the lottery, I’ll go to church and put 10% into your pretty bowl as they pass it around. How ‘bout it God, deal? Heh? Pretty good, huh?
Yeah, try the barter next time, you'll be cool.
Be careful about the Heaven dilemma. You can do pretty much anything you want except barter with the Devil. God doesn’t like competition from that side. As long as you say “Oops, my bad.” at the end, you get your ticket validated for Heaven. Catholics recommend saying “Oops, my bad” at least once a week in private, but other denominations let you do group validation on Sunday (just show up – and wear some nice clothes. God doesn’t validate anyone in dirty clothes.)
If you say “Oops, my bad” really really loud on Easter and/or Christmas, you may be off the eternal damnation list for the remainder of the year, but Jesus hasn’t yet confirmed how loud you have to be.
(BTW - Santa totally stole the eternal damnation list idea from God. He just re-coined it naughty-nice. He toned down the naughty repercussion though. Santa only gives you coal - God actually lights it.)
Pray it LOUD!!
Jeezus says, "I can't heeeaaarrr you!"
The real founding fathers wanted no inclusion of church and state. I am praying to the flying spagehtti monster that their vision is adhered to. Pasta Mon
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obey matthew 6:6
C&L vids have my computer laboring at death's door. In addition they stutter like a scratched DVD.
(normally not a problem anywhere else but here)
I said the other day I have no problems, but then I realized, I download to play. Just playing direct doesn't work. (My bad. But Korea does have super-fast internet service.)
Colbert was great. How can ANY conservatve honestly think he's serious??? Guess humour is lost on them.
I assume he's conservative. :p
On a serious note, i prayed to Beelzebub. To nuke the shit out of socialism. True fact, rly!
I love the cheerleaders! Hopefully next year he'll let some circus and bike riders do the show to celebrate the day of prayer. LOL
Quicktime videos from Comedy Central continue to be all fooked up.
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