February 23, 2024

Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville seems oblivious to the legal chaos ensuing in his state after an Alabama Supreme Court decision said that embryos are humans, too, my friend. And sure, at least there's the benefit of using the carpool lane as long as you have a 12-pack of eggs sitting next to you, but couples are pouring into online support groups wondering if they should transfer frozen embryos out of state because of this wackadoodle decision.

Tuberville has no idea what's happening, even though it's all over the news. Maybe if it were written up in a Russian newspaper, he'd get it, IDK. All he knows is that we need to birth us some more babies! However, he doesn't understand that the ruling undermines that because Alabama's largest hospital was forced to pause in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatments on Wednesday.

"Do you have a reaction to the Alabama Supreme Court ruling on the fact that embryos are children?" a reporter asked Sen. Big Brain.

"Yeah, I was all for it," Tuberville responded. "We need to have more kids. We need to have an opportunity to do that. And I thought this was the right thing to do."

"IVF is used to have more children, and right now, IVF services are paused at some of the clinics in Alabama," the reporter explained. "Aren't you concerned that this could impact people who are trying to have kids?"

"Well, that's for another conversation," Tuberville said. "People need to have that. We need more kids. We need people to have the opportunity to have kids."

The nice reporter lady already explained this to Tuberville. Another reporter brought it up, too, and he once again muttered something about needing more children even though this would stop couples from having children.

Oh, Alabama, you could have had Doug Jones.

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