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Matt Hancock Is A C***!

Political commentator and satirist Jonathan Pie with this savage take on the Matt Hancock affair gripping the UK.
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Political satirist Tom Walker goes full bore, even more rage-filled than usual with his latest opus from fake political correspondent 'Jonathan Pie' on the sordid and trivial details of UK's Health Secretary being caught in an affair with one of his own aides. The affair itself is of little consequence, says Pie, before lambasting the Tories yet again on their massive failures stemming from the COVID crisis. Especially galling also, to Pie and others, is Hancock's absurd apology/non-apology where he called it a one-off, it'll never happen again, and basically just apologised for breaking social-distancing rules. Hancock has, so far, refused to resign. (edit: He finally resigned yesterday afternoon.)

  • I do feel for his wife, and his three small children, but I'd feel sorry for his wife if he wasn't having an affair, because, you know, she's married to Matt Hancock. Affair or no affair, that's fucking horrendous.
  • All along, at every step the man in charge...pfft...I say "man," I mean the fucking weasel in charge of the Department of Health during a global pandemic where people adhering to the rules which was essential to help save lives, the same snotty little ratboy who stood on that podium time and time again in his 'Wangcocks' half-hour press briefings, imploring us to stick to the rules, all along he was ignoring the rules, putting his own family at risk of death by fucking the hired help. The help that, presumably, was hired so that Matt Hancock could fuck it.

And so on. Just a tour de force of unremitting rage.

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