I was a staff writer on the Onion's show "SportsDome" which aired on Comedy Central in 2011. This is one of the stories we did--full credit to David Iscoe (twitter.com/realhumanbeing) for the idea and script. It could have been produced by the CNN team covering the Steubenville rape verdict.
49 documents found in 0.001 seconds.
- Absentee ballot
- Americans for Tax Reform
- Ari Melber
- Barack Obama
- Bill O'Reilly
- Bishop Victor Curry
- CBS News
- Campaign Ads
- Candy Crowley
- Chris Wallace
- Craig Melvin
- David Axelrod
- Early Voting
- Election 2012
- Erin McPike
- Fox News
- Fox News Channel
- George W. Bush
- Grover Norquist
- House of Representatives
- Jennifer Rubin
- John Boehner
- Jon A. Husted
- Jon Husted
- Jon Stewart
- Joy Reid
- Karl Rove
- Ken Blackwell
- Megyn Kelly
- Melissa Harris-Perry
- Mitt Romney
- Montville Township
- Norah O'Donnell
- North Carolina
- Ohio Secretary of State
- Peter Hamby
- Rachel Maddow
- Republican Party
- Rick Scott
- The Daily Show
- Voter Suppression
- White House
- Wyatt Cenac
- al sharpton
- assault rifles
- assault weapons
- bulls**t mountain
- charlie crist
- election fraud
- electronic voting
- fiscal cliff
- gun control laws
- race baiting
- voter suppresion
Two men were arrested in Ohio on Wednesday after their target practice with an AK-47 assault rifle accidentally shot up a woman's home and nearly hit a officer who was responding to reports of gunfire.
Mary Kuruc told WEWS that her daughter discovered a bullet hole in the siding of their Montville Township home and other holes inside the house. After calling 911, Montville Police Sgt. Matt Neil began investigating and the home was hit again.
"We noticed a second bullet hole, followed the trajectory of it and noticed the bullet landed in the microwave," Kuruc recalled.
Neil found himself in the line of fire as he tried to track down where the bullets were coming from.
"When I get about a half mile back in the field up on a hill, gunfire started again, and started hearing rounds go over my head," the officer explained.
Neil called for backup and police discovered two men who thought they were safely shooting at paper targets, but the bullets were skipping off the ground and riddling the suburban neighborhood.
"They were drinking alcohol, they had some drugs on them and they were just outside, in their backyard shooting paper targets," Neil said. “They felt because they were shooting at a downward angle, that it would have been OK.”
Police suspect that "dozens" of shots were fired and have asked other residents to come forward if their homes were hit.
Two men, 53-year-old Mark Bornino and 45-year-old R. Daniel Volpone, were arrested and are facing felony charges. Police seized an AK-47 with two high-capacity magazines, three handguns, over 700 rounds of ammunition and some marijuana.
Anti-tax crusader Grover Norquist says that President Barack Obama did not win re-election because of his promise to raise taxes on the wealthy, but it was because attack ads made voters thing that Mitt Romney was a "poopy-head."
During a Monday interview on CBS, Norquist suggested that Republicans had a mandate not to raise taxes, even it meant going off the so-called "fiscal cliff."
"The House of Representatives was elected, committed to keeping taxes low," the Americans for Tax Reform president explained. "The president was elected on the basis that he was not Romney and that Romney was a poopy-head and you should vote against Romney. And he won by two points. But he didn't make the case that we should have higher taxes and higher spending, he kind of sounded like the opposite."
"Well, I'm not sure that's what the president called Mitt Romney," CBS host Norah O'Donnell pointed out. "The debate that was had -- and I listened very closely to it -- he said very clearly throughout the debate that the wealthiest Americans should pay more. And he won eight of the nine battleground states. And Republicans failed to reclaim the White House or the Senate. What about the exit polls that show a broad support on raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans? Are you wrong?"
"Again, you saw those ads that suggested Romney gave people cancer in Ohio for months and months unanswered," Norquist insisted. "You can trash an individual and get them to vote against him. Again where we have an election, there are 30 Republican governors, okay? And they're running campaigns against raising taxes and in favor of, frankly, phasing out the income tax in North Carolina and Kansas and Oklahoma."
O'Donnell pointed out that even House Speaker John Boehner had said that Republicans were willing to accept new revenue as part of a compromise.
"In 2011, Obama said the world would end and we should pass around smelling salts because he wanted to raise the debt ceiling," Norquist opined. "We got a debt ceiling agreement. It was a great compromise. We cut spending. We didn't raise taxes. We didn't cut spending as much as the Republicans wanted. The [Paul] Ryan plan would have reduced Obama's overspending by $6 trillion, we only got two and a half trillion in restraint."
"That's a compromise, it's not as much as the Republicans wanted. The Republicans have already compromised."
In exit polls released on Tuesday, six in ten voters said they supported raising taxes. Almost half wanted to see tax hikes specifically on those making more than $250,000 a year.
“On this particular issue, it wasn’t close,” Obama campaign adviser David Axelrod told CBS News on Sunday.
“You need new revenues, and every objective person who has looked at this agrees on that, so the question is where is that revenue going to come from?” he pointed out. “The president believes it is more equitable to get that from the wealthiest Americans who have done very well and frankly don’t need those tax cuts and who benefited disproportionately from the tax cuts in the last decade. Most Americans agree with that.”
MSNBC's Melissa Harris-Perry had a message for Ohio Secretary of State and Katherine Harris wanna-be Jon Husted, if he thinks minority voters in Ohio are going to forget about what he did when he's up for re-election in his state -- Jon Husted’s voter suppression will haunt him:
Dear Ohio Secretary of State Husted,
It’s me, Melissa. May I call you Jon?
How are you feeling today? Still a little sore, I’d imagine. Getting beaten so forcefully with all that backlash had to sting a bit. Probably gonna leave a mark. After all, you spent the better part of this year throwing the full force of your power as secretary of state into restricting the right of some Ohioans to vote. And on Tuesday, it boomeranged back upside your head something fierce.
After Ohio governor John Kasich and state Republican legislatures tried to restrict early voting the weekend before the election, President Obama’s campaign sued to restore early voting for all Ohioans. When a district judge agreed with the Obama campaign, you gave us the first indication of just how far you’d go to stop people from voting.
Not only did you appeal that decision, you also ordered county election boards to “defy” the judge’s order and “not” restore the early hours. Fortunately that judge called your bluff and ordered you into court to explain yourself.
Jon Stewart ripped into Fox and their election coverage this Tuesday night and the "avalanche of bulls**t mountain" after President Obama was declared the winner in Ohio. Stewart took great delight in the segment that I know was my favorite from the night, which was watching Karl Rove's head explode as he disputed the Ohio results and Megyn Kelly's trip down the hall for a dose of reality to refute Rove which we covered here.
As Stewart noted, Kelly's remarks to Rove about the "math you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better" would probably make for a better slogan for Fox than the one they're using now. He wrapped things up by mocking O'Reilly and Palin and their attacks on those lazy moochers out there who just want the government to "give them things."
STEWART: What an incredible story to tell yourselves. We would have won if it weren't for the moral failings of the non-real America. [...] Fox lost because last night, minorities, who feel entitled to things, came and took the country away from the self-sufficient, white Medicare retirees and upper-class tax avoidance experts, or as they're also known, your audience.
Ken Blackwell, the Republican former Ohio Secretary of State who presided over President George W. Bush's 2004 win, on Tuesday suggested that "groups that turn out high numbers of voters" -- instead of restrictions on early voting -- were to blame for long lines in African American precincts.
During an election night appearance on MSNBC, Blackwell explained that the county boards of elections had not deliberately placed too few voting machines in black precincts.
"They have to make practical decisions," he told host Chris Matthews. "They make decisions based on turnout patterns of elections, they put those voting machines and then what happens? There's tremendous organizational effort by Democrats and various groups, labor groups. And they get a great turnout. What does that cause? That causes long lines. Nobody is out there deliberately trying to suppress the vote."
"There are people deliberately trying to suppress the vote, let's get that straight," Matthews interrupted.
"I think there was a tremendous turnout in African Americans," Blackwell insisted. "Did they have to stand in line? Yes. Why? Because there was a tremendous organizational effort to turnout the vote."
MSNBC host Al Sharpton pointed out that Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted had worked to cut back early voting hours, including the Sunday before election day when many African Americans go to the polls.
"He did end up cutting early voting hours," host Rachel Maddow agreed. "In terms of the state of Ohio right now, part of the reason there's long lines is that early voting hours got cut after they tried to cut early voting days. So we don't need to put that on you, that wasn't your decision, but that is what happened in the state."
"I thought it was a bad move to try to take away -- to try to block the tradition of voting on the Sunday before elections," Blackwell agreed. "That was his call. But the reality is we've had long lines due to the success of groups that turn out high numbers of voters."
Good news for the Obama campaign. CNN's Peter Hamby tells Candy Crowley that the Romney campaign's most recent internal polling showed President Obama up by five in the crucial swing state of Ohio.
Here we go again with Florida leading the way with more voter suppression -- Florida Early Voting Fiasco: Voters Wait For Hours At Polls As Rick Scott Refuses To Budge:
Once again, Florida and its problems at the polls are at the center of an election.
Early voting is supposed to make it easier for people to carry out their constitutional right. Tuesdays are notoriously inconvenient to take off work, so many states have given voters the option of turning out on weekends or other weekdays in the run-up to Election Day.
But in Florida this year, it has been a nightmare for voters, who have faced record wait times, long lines in the sun and a Republican governor, Rick Scott, who has refused to budge and extend early voting hours.
"People are getting out to vote. That's what's very good," said Scott.
People are getting out to vote -- but many of them are having to wait in line for three or four hours to do so. One contributor to DailyKos claimed it took 9 hours to vote. In Miami-Dade on Saturday, people who had gotten in line by 7:00 p.m. were allowed to vote; the last person wasn't checked in until 1 a.m., meaning it took some individuals six hours to cast a ballot.
"We're looking at an election meltdown that is eerily similar to 2000, minus the hanging chads," said Dan Smith, a political science professor at the University of Florida.
We've got stories that continue to come out about voter suppression everywhere from Arizona, to Colorado, to Pennsylvania to you name it, and stories like this one just coming out this week -- Florida 'Glitch' Wipes Out 1000 Early Votes In Black Area.
And this recent news from Ohio where their Secretary of State Jon Husted is doing his best to become the next Katherine Harris or Ken Blackwell -- Last-Minute Ohio Directive Could Trash Legal Votes And Swing The Election.
But never mind all that. If people don't like it that the Republicans are doing their best to keep them from voting or their votes from being counted, well that's too bad according to Mitt Romney's number one neocon fan-girl -- Wash. Post's Jennifer Rubin Dismisses Voter Suppression Concerns As "Sour Grapes".
As Jon Stewart noted in the opening segment of The Daily Show this Thursday evening, the week before the general election, the people of New York might have it rough right now in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, but they can be grateful for one thing -- that they're not living in "swing state hell" like the residents of Ohio are now.
As Stewart joked, between all the political ads, robocalls and politicians on the campaign trail that are inundating the voters in the state, they're going to need their electricity turned off to get some relief. Daily Show regular Wyatt Cenac "reported" from an "undisclosed bunker," since there was no where else to go to escape the ads, not even the neighboring states.