Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer compares kids who get free lunches in public schools to stray animals.

Jon Stewart's take on the clusterf*ck in Massachusetts.

"Let me see if I have this straight. You need to replace perhaps the most beloved liberal in the history of the Senate with a candidate that believes Curt Schilling is a Yankee fan. Because if this lady loses, the health care reform bill that the beloved late senator considered his legacy will die," Stewart said. "And the reason it will die is because if Coakley loses, Democrats will only have then an 18-vote majority in the Senate. Which is more than George W. Bush ever had in the Senate when he did whenever the f**k he wanted."

Oh what fun: Jon Stewart rips into Glenn Beck for his manifest lack of ethics in promoting gold as an investment on his program.

YahooNews's Brett Michael Dykes explained it in some detail:

For some time Beck critics have cried foul over his relationship with Goldline International, a precious metals vendor that features the TV and radio host's endorsement prominently on their website. Critics charge that Beck is guilty of misleading his audience by often advising them to purchase gold in advance of the potential collapse of the value of the dollar on the world currency market, without disclosing that he is in fact a "paid spokesman" for Goldline. Beck's on-air promotion of gold, which includes advising viewers to construct "fruit cellars" and to rely on a "three G system" of "God, Gold, and Guns" in the event of America's collapse, dates back to his time as a host for CNN Headline News.

Glenn Beck also regularly talks up gold on his nationally syndicated radio show, where he often endorses Goldline during live commercial segments. Additionally, Beck has had the company's CEO on as a guest. Advertisements for Goldline are also featured prominently on Beck's own website, where he recently promoted gold in an audio clip warning of an apocalyptic future:

When the system eventually collapses, and the government comes with guns and confiscates, you know, everything in your home and all your possessions, and then you fight off the raving mad cannibalistic crowds that Ted Turner talked about, don't come crying to me. I told you: get gold.

And as James Rainey explained at the LA Times, he may be leading a lot of people down a financial garden path:

Beck, true to form, has not been subtle in making his pitch. He has appealed to listeners to "think like a German Jew" during the period of Nazi ascendance. "I think people are running out of options," he said, "of something that could be worth something at all."

The alternative? Gold. Beck touts his personal investments in the metal and, though he has offered cautionary notes, he leaves no doubt about his bottom line.

"If you have been watching for any length of time and you still haven't looked into buying gold, what's wrong with you?" Beck asks on a video on his personal website. Those not following his advice, he adds, are "nuts."

Buying gold during economic hard times is not, to be sure, a new concept. In the current recession, it's a strategy that has been embraced by many mainstream investors.

My colleague Tom Petruno has written of how some economic wizards -- including David Einhorn of Greenlight Capital, predictor of last year's financial swoon -- have replaced some of the cash in their portfolios with gold.

But even some of those who have been making lots of money selling gold concede that the appeal goes beyond mere reason. Peter Epstein, president of Merit Financial Services, told Politico that his firm had advertised on CNN but that the gold message resonated more with Fox's viewers "because it's the angry white man audience -- it's the conservative audience. . . . They are distrustful of the government, of the regime."

That sort of thinking might not lead to the soundest decisions, some gold professionals told me.

"When people buy into the fear and flock into one thing, it's only a matter of time before it turns," said Matt Zeman, a metals trader at Chicago-based LaSalle Futures Group. Indeed, since last week's high of $1,218, gold had dropped Tuesday to $1,143, Zeman noted, adding: "I think the wheels could really come off the gold bandwagon."

Actually, Beck is promoting Ron Paul's extremist brand of libertarianism by promoting the "gold standard." It's been a sucker play for the Far Far Right for many years, and now it's being promoted by a mainstream news entity.

Snail Mail:

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For conservatives, it doesn't matter what you say yesterday because there is always today and tomorrow, as far as the media are concerned. Case in point: I called out Rudy Giuliani's liars' take on the KSM trial that will take place in NY because in 2006 he praised the American justice system for prosecuting Moussaoui under George Bush. If a conservative does it, it's OK, but if a Dem does it -- it's treasonous.

Stewart found some footage of Rudy going on TV in 2006 praising the trial to all the cable networks. Then he sliced in Giuliani's many Sunday show spots attacking Obama for the KSM trial.

We're lucky to have Stewart. The funny hits a high point when Samantha Bee pointed out the Geraldo Rivera was the "voice of reason!" How apropos for FOX.

Jon Stewart was on fire last night. First he had his response to Sean Hannity's lame "apology" after being totally busted by Stewart for fraudulent reportage. The upshot: Getting Hannity to apologize wasn't worth the ordeal of actually having to watch his show.

He also credits the show's young assistant producer, a fellow named Ramin, for catching this bit of fraud, so he brings Ramin out for a kudo. Let's just say that your humble editor, whose job it is to monitor Fox closely for C&L readers, relates.

And then there was his report on Lou Dobbs' departure from CNN:

Busted! Jon Stewart notices that Sean Hannity, in "reporting" on Michele Bachmann's teabagger anti-health-care rally last week, showed his audience footage from Glenn Beck's "912 Project" project of the month before, in order to make it look like there were big crowds out for it.

My question: Why aren't any journalists actually discussing the complete and utter travesty of "journalistic standards" as practiced by Fox News?

And why don't those Villagers who tut-tut the White House for standing up to the nonstop onslaught from Fox ever talk about this kind of crap? It's a constant, everyday occurrence at Fox.

Don't journalists care about their reputations anymore? Because Fox sullies the name of everyone who calls him- or herself a journalist.

Glenn Beck's appendicitis proves to be comedy gold for the good folks at The Daily Show. Stewart's Beckisms are bang on.

Jon Stewart took CNN apart over their insipid fact-checking of a SNL skit about President Obama while never having the time to give us REAL FACTS about health-care reform when their guests come on and lie. CNN and most cable networks allow health-care obstructionists like Sen. Kyl and Orrin Hatch to throw out bogus facts all day long without ever questioning their validity, and it is frustrating.

Stewart nails CNN for always saying "We're out of time," and never getting to the truth. And then we have the FRC's Tony Perkins, who claims there are really only 5-10 million uninsured people in America.

Perkins: ...when you get down to a hard core number, it's about 5-10 million that can't afford health care. Out of a nation of 330 million that's a small percentage.

Stewart: Without an explanation he went from 30 million uninsured down to you know the hard core number. 5 or ten million. Well that's pretty close...it's only double.

And the ultimate slap in the face is when TDS clips together almost every anchor saying: "We'll leave it there."

Stewart: There are 24 hours in a day, how much more time do you need? CNN's new slogan: Nobody Leaves More Things There.

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Jon Stewart got in his licks at Fox News the other night, accusing them of being "the new liberals" for their, umn, tolerant approach to the town hall health-care protesters.

Stewart caught Bill O'Reilly saying recently:

O'Reilly: When we cover the town-hall meetings, we don't describe the protesters as "loons."

Stewart: Of course you don't describe the protesters as loons! What kind of monster would describe honest Americans voicing their political opinions that way?

[Reverts to earlier clip of O'Reilly, describing an anti-war protest]

O'Reilly: Surveys show many protesters are simply loons.

So last night on The O'Reilly Factor, the Falafel Master offered, by way of excuse, to demonstrate that Stewart had edited out the exculpatory parts of his monologues which made it clear he didn't mean all the protesters. And indeed, on the longer clip, O'Reilly can be heard to say:

O'Reilly: There are the anti-Bush protesters in New York City. While most of these people have been peaceful, more than a thousand have been arrested and surveys show, many protesters are simply loons, calling for the destruction of the American system, calling for retreat in the face of terrorism. Here's a bulletin for you Bush-haters: These protesters are not helping John Kerry.

O'Reilly somehow thinks this demonstrates his innocence:

O'Reilly: We were talking about the arrested protesters.

Actually, no, you weren't, Bill. Look at the transcript: You were talking about the protesters who were surveyed -- and that included all the protesters, not just those who were arrested.

Moreover, no one on the left or among the Democrats that I'm aware of has called all of the town-hall participants "loons." They've been careful to parse out the behavior of the people interested in civilized discourse. When protesters have been characterized as "loons" or some variation thereof, it's been because of their disruptive behavior.

So if BillO's excuse -- that he was just talking about some of the protesters -- is good enough for Bill, why not for everyone else?

But then, we already know that the standards BillO applies to others don't apply to his own august self. That's the real "O'Reilly Factor."

Jon Stewart notices that Glenn "I am not a fear monger" Beck had a much different attitude towards the health care in this nation last year while recovering from anal surgery.

I’ll tell you what really doesn’t speak well of our health care system: that in those sixteen months the hole that they stitched up in Glenn Beck’s ass hasn’t healed enough for him to stop talking out of it.

Jon Stewart ripped into the insane, Ron Paul, teabaggers disrupting the health care town halls.

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Jon Stewart made a mashup of statements from the media that sez, Obama is toast if no health care bill is passed. And then came the toesucker. That got Jon really in the mood to describe the partisan hack.

Morris: And I don't know if he'll win anything ever again if he fails to get this past.

Stewart: Yeah, he'll probably end up like some two bit partisan troll, a shell of his former self. His outward physical appearance slowly reflecting the putrefication of his soul. A Harvey Fiersteinesque conservative minstrel rolling from town to town in a rented conversion van -- each day a carbon copy of the last. With only the changing of his three gravy-stained red speech ties...

I think you get the picture. Stewart pretty much covers the type of man Dick Morris is.

www.thedailyshow.com

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Jon Stewart was on vacation when Palin quit and Samantha Bee was up in Alaska covering it. Another hilarious exchange for TDS.

Samantha: Well guess what Jon, she's got a book coming out called "I Love My Country," by Sarah Palin.

Stewart: I'd love to read that book.

Samantha: Stop attacking her.

Stewart: I'm saying I'd like to see that book.

Samantha: Leave her family alone. They're off limits. What is wrong with you?

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(I was going to write this last week, but I had a family emergency).

Why does Rep. John Boehner hate the DMV and postal workers so much? Jon Stewart catches him attacking them in his effort to smear any health care reform. it starts at the 3:15 mark of the video.

Boehner: If you like going to the DMV and think they do a great job or you like going to the post office and think it's the most efficient thing you've run into to then you'll love the government run health care system.

Stewart: If you like the military protecting the country or doctors helping veterans you'll love this new government plan. By the way, why are you bagging on the post office. For forty four cents, someone comes to your house, picks up some piece of crap you wrote and takes it to Wyoming on a plane, but give me another talking point.

Gee, I never waited an hour in a doctor's office, sifting through two year old magazines just to get him to spend five minutes with me. That's the ticket. What an efficient system our current health care system is.

If I worked at the DMV or for the Post Office I'd put his picture up on the wall and say, "If we're so bad, You're Not Welcome here," and then refuse to service him. Really, what a fool and how demeaning to all the people that work there. If you work for the DMV or post office, give a shout out to Boehner's office.

Representative John Boehner - 8th District Residents - Call Us Toll Free - 1-800-582-1001

202-225-6205

You can also ask the Friends of John Boehner if they like to use the Post Office or the DMV too:

Phone 513-779-8435
800-228-8551 - Toll Free